Season 3 Episode 42 - Potatoes and Van Goghs

“So often we identify with our beliefs and strongly held opinions. We’re not even consciously aware of what’s driving our distrust or aggravation. We can increase our awareness by asking, ‘What do I really care about in this situation?’”

Whenever we get stuck in a downward cycle of distrust, even the smallest perceived slight can appear as an existential threat to our existence, and the faintest provocation can send us up the wall. In this episode, Kari and Paul show how building trust with others often relies on shifting our perspective on the “small things” in life and avoiding the tendency to blow everything out of proportion. What’s the secret to making that shift? Well, it has little something to do with “potatoes and Van Goghs”…listen to find out more!

In This Episode:

00:59 — Paul shares the metaphor of “potatoes and Van Goghs” and several examples of how it has been transformative for him (Thanks to @ScottAdamsSays for the inspiration of this metaphor!)

06:30 — Trust as “making what’s important to me vulnerable to the actions of others”

08:48 — The baseline level of distrust that we often carry

09:56 — How shifting our perspective on trust impacts our relationships

12:16 — How to identify the “potatoes” and “Van Goghs” in our lives; Paul shares another story

16:46 — The connection between our orientation to life and our capacity to trust

18:24 — Kari shares an example of a client suffering from distrust and how a shift in perspective opens possibilities

20:23 — The cognitive load of our personal “Van Goghs”

Quotes:

“There is a connection between our orientation to life and the possibility of our trusting others.”

“When you can’t trust how someone else is going to react to small or big things, the capacity to trust is lost.”

“The hygiene of my own internal state creates more space which in turn increases our capacity to relate to others freely.”

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Links:

• Kari’s Website

• Paul’s Website

• Kari’s Online Courses about Leadership Performance, Accountability, and Trust

• Paul’s Other Podcast

  
  

Acknowledgements: Our work is mosaic art. We read, study, and practice many philosophies, methodologies, and modalities of human performance, to ensure that our approach best serves our clients. We would like to acknowledge all of the thought leaders and organizations, whose ground-breaking work has influenced the TGN Consulting approach – especially Fernando Flores, Jim Selman, Michael C. Jensen, Julio Olalla, Pluralistic Networks,The Newfield Network, and the Strozzi Institute.

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